![]() ![]() I often cringe when leaders say, “Let’s have a conversation,” then proceed to dominate the meeting with their talk, not inviting discussion and actually having a monologue instead of facilitating dialogue. Speaking as if you are the status quo-as if your ideas, opinions and knowledge are superior to others-while belittling their knowledge or understanding does not help grow friendships it grows division. These men might have been speaking about a subject that was highly familiar to them but a new topic to their female colleagues. “Do you know anything?” was something I often heard older males say to younger females. This happens when leaders are fearful of how feedback or commentary will be received and seek to disguise it rather than being forthright. Not saying what they mean and hiding behind the exaggerated phrases they throw around actually minimizes the message they intend to send. Leaders that use hyperbole to boost the impact of their statements when communicating with their teams actually decrease it. ![]() If you want your people to take initiative, share freely. Very few situations warrant information secrecy. Then, they wonder why their people seem lost and uncertain about what needs to be done. These leaders often don’t understand the link between transparency and trust. “That’s on a need-to-know basis.” This statement has been used by leaders of the midsized service firms I’ve coached. It is wise to avoid broad statements without clarifying who it is the leader is specifically referencing. We get a dopamine hit when we hear “yes” and a cortisol (the stress hormone) hit when we hear “no.” This was creating disconnection and discouraging brainstorming, so we replaced “no, yeah…” with “yes, and…” - Natalie McVeigh, EisnerAmperĪ leader can make a statement referring to a department or a group, but when the leader uses the phrase “you people,” a team member could consider that phrase as referring to their nationality or race. One leader knew that agreement was important, and most of the time he did agree however, he would put a “no” before his “yes,” which unintentionally deleted the impact of agreeing and collaborating. Instead, leaders who can point you in the right direction (to people, resources or processes) prove to be more constructive and helpful. I had a manager who, when asked a question, replied with, “Go figure it out” or, “Just manage it.” The leader thought he was empowering the team, but the issue with this approach is that it creates unnecessary delays, frustrations and missteps for the team members. Cristian Hofmann, Empowering Executives | SUPERGROUP LTD People get paralyzed, perplexed, almost speechless and cannot answer well at the moment-and so, the innovative topic or new idea is off the table. “Good suggestion, colleague, but we already came up with that three years ago, and it didn’t work, as we all know!” Sometimes, a “killer” phrase such as this comes unexpectedly and brings a surprising aspect into the discussion. Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. ![]()
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